The Most Convincing Reasons for Monkeys to Eat Bananas (C5 speech, Taipei Grand Toastmasters, March 2007)

Can you think of the most convincing reasons for monkeys to eat bananas? Bananas are easy to hold and would not easily slip away. Yellow is monkeys’ favourite colour. Monkeys have bad teeth and they can only eat soft food like bananas. These reasons may be correct from human beings’ perspective.

According to Professor K.K.Wong, the Zoologist of Chinese University of Hong Kong (CUHK), a bacterium has been found in bananas during a research conducted by CUHK last month. This bacterium has been reported to contain certain elements that help monkeys’ evolution in becoming human beings. Monkeys have been eating bananas for some 2000 years. According to Professor K.K.Wong, they have to continue eating bananas another 10 years to transform into human beings. “Monkeys are pretending that they enjoy eating bananas to cheat human beings. A war between human beings and monkeys would have occurred many years ago if monkeys eat rice and bread like human beings do. Monkeys keep pretending as if they loved eating bananas because of avoiding a fight with human beings to get rice and bread. Furthermore, they need bananas for their evolution,” he added. CUHK’s research suggests that human would have to prepare for a brand new world, in which animals could live like human beings.

This research has stunned the world for it is giving a hint that human beings’ dominance in the world would cease to exist in 10 years. “For me, this is a warning sign of God because human beings are destroying the world. As a result of human beings’ continuing destruction to the world, God is considering commissioning the monkeys to take care of the world, which has been tortured by human beings for many years. I hereby plead to the human society to stop arguing and fighting. Please have mercy to the world, for the sake of civilization and peace,” said Kofi Annan, the secretary general of United Nations, during a press conference which was held in New York.

Despite Annan’s plead to stop fighting, the United States’ disputes with both Iran and North Korea, who insisted in developing nuclear weapons, continue as US President George W. Bush warned both countries, which he personally called them ‘barbarian countries’, to stop their nuclear plans before the US take military actions. He also slammed CUHK’s research as ‘absurd’ and insisted that he, as a child of God, should take the responsibility to stop the nuclear plans of Iran and North Korea, in the name of God.

Disputes would never end as human beings still keep fighting each other. The most convincing reason for monkeys to keep eating bananas is to make sure that they fulfill the Creator’s wish to evolve into new human beings, who will never harm the world and take good care of every living feature on Earth.

2 thoughts on “The Most Convincing Reasons for Monkeys to Eat Bananas (C5 speech, Taipei Grand Toastmasters, March 2007)”

  1. Hey I was wondering and I don’t think I’ve ever asked you. Do you believe in God?

    haha. Maybe I will ask you when you come on msn again. ttyl.

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