Original text link: http://www.malaysiakini.com/columns/117730
Chinese translation Link: http://www.malaysiakini.com/columns/118160
注：原文Sad road to see Seetha’s suicide，作者Helen Ang ，姚文杰翻译。
Sad road to Seetha’s suicide
Helen Ang
Nov 18, 09
4:19pm
I wrote the article below before news broke of Seetha’s passing. May she rest in peace. My prayers for her.
Words cannot hope to convey the plight of R Seetha (photo) who is in critical condition after her suicide bid.
Mine are hopelessly inadequate and I can only offer them in sympathy hearing that Seetha might die. Ingesting paraquat like she did causes liver, lung, heart or kidney failure within several days that can result in death.
In 2006, another young Indian woman M Sanggita took her four children to Sungei Gadut near Seremban to wait for the train to Singapore. The family was not going for a holiday but to their deaths.
Can you imagine such a state of mind where having the train run over you seems better than living? Sanggita, 30, and two of her children were killed that July day lying across the railway tracks.
“There is no use for all of us to live. I pity my kids. They have no future here. Let us be with God,” pleaded Sanggita in her suicide note.
She lamented that she could find no solace. “If given the opportunity, we would all come back as angels to help those in need,” the note ended. Like Sanggita, Seetha lived also in Negri Sembilan and perhaps angels did watch over her four children. Thankfully, they will – we’re hopeful – pull through after sipping the weed killer given by their mother.
Some people have called for Seetha to be charged with attempted murder.
It’s been reported that Seetha promised her children that if they drank the poison, they could meet their youngest uncle again who had been gunned down by police. I don’t think Seetha had it in mind to brutally kill her children – certainly not in the same way that police had done her brother Surendran.
Doubtless, I cannot claim to fathom what was going through her mind that tipped her over the edge. But neither can those condemning her imagine what Seetha has had to endure in her short life thus far. From the story fragments that have come to public knowledge, we can at best speculate.
A closed Tamil society
Seetha’s husband M Manimaran said his wife had told him that she wanted to see the departed Surendran and be with him.
Her father R Rampathy (far left) in his police report had said: “Seetha terlalu sayang kepada Surendran. Dia selalu nangis di hadapan gambar Surendran yang meninggal.”
The picture they paint is one of a woman consumed by inconsolable grief. For most of us, we lose our loved ones to old age or they succumb to natural causes. For the Tamil underclass like Seetha, death can visit a male sibling in a hail of bullets or occurring in the police lock-up. This comes about due to the chronic socio-economic deprivation of the community.
So, no, those comfortable armchair critics of Seetha can’t even begin to comprehend her anguish and the perennial dark cloud hanging when one is mired in poverty. Her father is a security guard; her husband a lorry driver. Both are low status and low pay jobs.
Seetha is a housewife; her mother is a housewife. A feminine shroud encloses homemakers in the still highly patriarchal Tamil society. The women’s limited life experience may not have allowed them to acquire the coping mechanisms that our ’survival of the fittest’ advocates, preaching fortitude, would like to think everyone else should possess.
The defeatist proletariat, denied access to empowering education, does not enjoy the buffer zone that better-off Malaysians have when it comes to confronting adversity and despair. Not just the shock of violent, sudden death but the depression that daily dampens their dispiriting environment.
Worlds apart, chasm between
A poor family earns a combined income of under RM1,092 monthly. This amount is all that a household – usually calculated as a unit comprising five members – has at their disposal to cover all expenditure including housing, utilities, food, schooling expenses and transport.
On the other hand, an affluent young couple may spend more than a thousand ringgit a month on milk powder alone for two young children, what with the price of things skyrocketing nowadays.
I’ve given the example above of two sets of people whose finances are at opposite ends. Wouldn’t their thinking norms be very different too? Seetha’s critics simply have no inkling of the facets of her world.
Do you know how many percent of Indians earn only around a thousand ringgit? The answer is 108,000 households … five years ago (certainly more poor people today). These 540,000 souls make up the bottom 30% of the 1.8 million total Indian population, according to the Social Strategic Foundation report of April 2005.
More data: From the Household Income Survey 2004 by the Economic Planning Unit and Department of Statistics. On the incidence of urban poverty, Bumiputera register 4.1%, Chinese 0.4% and Indian 2.4%.
Now compare with their respective population ratio that same year: Bumiputera was 61%, Chinese 24% and Indian 7% out of 25.6 million Malaysians. Indians who comprised a mere 7% of this country in 2004 showed a disproportionately high poverty rate in stark contrast to Chinese and Malays.
“You are on your own. Don’t hold out your hand because nothing will fall into it.” This quote is attributed to long overstaying MIC president Samy Vellu in the book ‘The Malaysian Indians’ by Muzafar Desmond Tate.
Heck, not only are the poor Indians refused help, even what little they had was taken away from them.
Rendered jobless and homeless
In 1980, plantation workers still accounted for over half of the entire Indian community, wrote Muzafar. What has been happening since then is that the plantations have been fragmented and their workers evicted from the labourer quarters.
The Putrajaya mega-project dislodged estate workers too (Golden Hope plantations among them) and in Mahathirville’s 4,580 hectares, there is no room for the Indians; you don’t see them in this shiny new administrative capital.
Rubber estates like Golden Hope, Guthrie, Sime Darby and Boustead had been colonial enterprises.
Then, government agencies like Pemodalan Nasional Berhad took over Sime Darby (today merged with Guthrie and Golden Hope) while Lembaga Tabung Angkatan Tentera acquired a controlling equity interest in Boustead. Now owned by government-linked Malays and managed by Malays, these corporations are developing the previously plantation land into lucrative real estate properties and new townships.
Oh well, too bad for the hapless Indians. Its displaced young generation drift to urban settlements and create slums.
As mentioned earlier, about 7% of the Malaysian general population is Indian but in their making up 16.1% of squatters, the ratio is double, not proportional. It’s hardly surprising that the Indian quota for low-cost rented accommodation with KL City Hall is always exhausted.
Meanwhile in Penang, a report submitted to the state government by the Socio-economic and Environmental Research Institute (Seri) in November 1998 revealed deplorable housing conditions.
Five percent of the survey respondents lived in containers while in Sungai Tiram, the majority of respondents lived in shacks which used to provide shelter for animals before. Ten years down the road, Penang kindly gave Indians the Kg Buah Pala saga.
The poverty trap led Surendran to his fateful meeting with destiny and trigger-happy cops. Seetha is the collateral damage. Can’t their circumstances and they too be considered hostage to the Indian condition?
Human Rights Party pro-tem secretary-general P Uthayakumar has intimated that should she die, he will bring her body to Parliament to drive home the point that police shootings of racially profiled and so-called ’suspects’ must stop.
Uthaya’s threat recalls the self-immolation or suicide by fire, of Buddhist monks to protest the Vietnamese regime in the 1960s.
Perhaps it will take a drastic measure like a frail, pretty corpse brought outside Parliament under the glare of international media attention to finally open Malaysia’s eyes. A deliberately neglected community is at the end of its tether, if only you knew.
Do you remember the unforgettable Hindraf rally images of Indians passively allowing themselves be drenched by chemical-laced water fired by the FRU cannons? How would an ordinary robust individual react in the same circumstances? You’d run.
So how did a swathe of marginalized Malaysians come to such pass that they squat wet in the street like martyrs with nothing else to lose?
Some have slammed Seetha for attempting to take her own life. Can these censorious people please try to plumb the question that plagued one who deserves only our compassion: ‘What’s there to live for?’
我撰写以下篇文章时，西达仍未辞世。我会为她祈祷，但愿她在天之灵可以安息。
西达尝试自杀之后，病情危急，她的痛苦，不是笔墨可以形容的。比起西达，我的痛苦算不了什么。听到西达或许会离开人间，我只能同情她。像她这般灌了除草剂，肝脏、肺部、心脏或肾脏，都在几天内衰竭致死的。
2006 年，另一个印裔妇女桑吉达（M Sanggita）带着四个孩子到靠近芙蓉双溪芽笃（Sungei Gadut），等着开往新加坡的火车。这家人并不是去度假，而是要寻死。让火车碾过自己的身躯，也比活着来得更好，阁下能想像这种心理状态吗？年仅30岁的桑吉达和两个孩子，就在七月的某一天躺在火车轨道上，被火车碾死了。
桑吉达在遗书上写道，“活着根本无甚意义。我同情我的孩子，他们在这里没有前途。让我们和上帝在一起吧”。她抱怨她无法找到慰藉。
遗书以这句结尾：“如果有机会，我们会化作天使，回来帮助需要帮助的人。”
西达也跟桑吉达同样住在森美兰，也许天使有守护着她的四个孩子吧。他们喝过了母亲给的除草剂，现在却得以逃过死劫。谢天谢地，我们满怀信心，他们会度过难关的。
有些人呼吁检控单位起诉西达企图谋杀。根据报道，西达答应她的孩子，他们很快就可见到被警方击毙的小舅。我不认为西达是要残忍杀害自己的孩子。警方对待她弟弟的态度，肯定不是她对待孩子的态度。
毫无疑问地，当她被逼到死角的时候，心里想着什么，我并不能自作主张揣测一番。但是批评她的人们，也不能凭空想像她在短暂生命旅程中所必须承受的一切。从公众所知道的故事碎片来看，我们顶多只能推测而已。
封闭的淡米尔社会
西达的丈夫玛尼马兰（Manimaran）表示，西达曾跟他说过要见她的弟弟，要和他在一起。西达的父亲南峇迪在警局录口供时表示：“西达太疼爱弟弟苏纳登了，她常常拿着弟弟的遗照哭泣。”（Seetha terlalu sayang kepada Surendran. Dia selalu nangis di hadapan gambar Surendran yang meninggal.）
一个女人，受尽苦痛，难以安抚，就是他们所描绘的情景。对我们大多数人而言，我们失去挚爱的原因，不外乎是他们年纪大了，抑或自然死亡。西达出身淡米尔社会底层，对他们而言，死神召唤自己兄弟姐妹的时候，可以是在枪林弹雨中，或者在扣留室里。印裔社会长期被剥夺社会经济机会，因此落得如此残局。
西达的悲痛，还有一个人陷入贫穷泥淖中，生活长期愁云惨淡的情况，都不是脱离现实的安逸评论人所能开始理解的。她父亲是保安人员，丈夫是货车司机，都是从事低阶低薪的工作。
西达是个家庭主妇，她的母亲也一样。一个女性的身份，把家庭主妇困在仍然父权至上的淡米尔社会。我们的“适者生存”理论要求每一个人要有竞争力、要坚韧不拔，但妇女生活经验有限，也许并不能让她们具备这竞争能力。
教育可增强人的自信心与能力，但最底层的失败主义者，都被拒于教育门外。不同於生活条件较好的大马人，他们面对困难与绝望的时候，并没有缓冲区。暴力与突然死亡所带来的惊愕，再加上日以继夜的忧郁，更进一步打击了他们的颓丧生活环境。
两个世界，天渊之别
一户贫穷人家，每个月的总收入低于1092令吉。这就是一户人家，通常是五个人的家庭，可以花在房屋、水电费、膳食、学杂费和交通费的金额了。相反地，如今物价飙涨，一对富有的年轻夫妇，单单是买给两个小孩的奶粉钱，每个月就可能超过一千令吉。
财务状况完全不同的两组人，我已经举例说明了。他们的思考模式不也会大不相同吗？西达的批评者，对她所身处的世界根本连一点认识都没有。
你知道印裔社群当中月入1000令吉的比例是多少吗？答案是10万8000户人家。这是五年前的数据，今天的穷人肯定更多。根据社会策略基金会报告，这54万个人在180万印裔社群中垫底，成为最底层的30%。
经济策划小组和统计局的2004年家庭收入调查报告有更多的数据。以城市贫困率来说，土著占了4.1%，华裔0.4%和印裔2.4%。现在就拿当年的人口比例来比较一下：在2560万大马人口当中，土著占了61%、华裔24%和印裔7%。在2004年只占了我国人口7%的印裔，贫困率高得不成比例，跟华裔和土著形成强烈对比。
“大马印裔” 的作者慕扎法戴斯蒙（Muzafar Desmond Tate）以这番话标签在位太久的国大党主席三美威鲁：
“你们要自力更生，不要伸手，没有什么东西会掉在你的手掌上。”
唉，不只是贫穷印裔求助无门，甚至连属于他们的一丁点东西，也都被夺走了。
被迫停工、流离失所
慕扎法写道，在1980年，整个印裔社会有超过一半是园丘工人。后来发生的事情是，园丘关闭了，住在宿舍的工人被赶了出来。布城的大型工程也驱赶园丘工人，金希望 （Golden Hope）就是其中一家公司。占地4580公顷的“敦马城堡”，印裔可没一席之地，阁下很难在这金碧辉煌的行政区看到他们。
种植公司如金希望、牙直利（Guthrie）、森那美（Sime Darby）和莫实得（Boustead），都是殖民地时代的企业。后来，官联公司如国民投资公司（Pemodalan Nasional Berhad）收购森那美。森那美现在也跟牙直利和金希望合并了。这些公司现在由一些跟政府有关系的马来人所拥有，并由他们管理。原本是园丘的一片片土地，在他们的手上转变成很赚钱的房地产和新城镇。
至于倒霉的印裔，那真是太不幸了。流离失所的新生代飘泊到城市边缘，盖了贫民窟。诚如之前所述，非法木屋区居民有16.1%是印裔，而印裔只占我国人口大约7%，这比例是多了一倍，是不成比例的。吉隆坡市政局的低廉租金组屋计划，分配给印裔的配额总是一扫而空，这其实是不稀奇的。
在槟城，社会经济与环境研究中心（Seri）于1998年11月提交给州政府的报告，则披露了糟透的居住环境。报告指出，百分之五的受访者住在货柜箱。在地南河（Sungai Tiram），曾经是动物栖息处的简陋木屋，大多受访者都住在那里。十年了，槟城给了印裔一记“豆蔻村事件”。
贫穷的陷阱，牵引着苏纳登的命运，碰上了以开枪为乐的警察。西达是间接的受害者。他们的情况，乃至于他们本人，不能被视为是印裔困境的人质吗？
人权党的筹委会总秘书乌达雅古玛 （Uthayakumar）表示，若是西达不幸身亡，他会抬着她的棺材到国会抗议，极力呼吁警方停止开枪射击特定族群和所谓的“疑犯”。乌达雅古玛的威胁，让人回想起在1960年代，佛教僧侣自焚抗议越南政权的历史。
激进的手段，例如在国际媒体的镁光灯下，抬着一具脆弱而美丽的尸体到国会大厦外，也许这样才能终于睁开大马人的眼睛吧。一个被刻意忽视的社会，是忍无可忍了，要是阁下知道就好了。
还记得兴权会游行的的照片吗？还记得那些印裔，任由联邦后备队以渗有化学物质的水炮扫射他们吗？面对这样的情况，一个健全的人会怎么反应？一定会抱腿就跑。一群被边缘化的大马人，怎么会躺在街上，全身湿透，仿若已经没有什么可以失去的烈士？
有些人猛烈抨击西达企图轻生。对于一个我们应该怜悯的弱者，这些爱好批评的人，可否思索她所面对的问题：“活着，是为了什么？”